I am soo good at hiding. Night before last I attended "creative Night" at my new church, "Mars Hill" in downtown Seattle. An art teacher spoke about the process being what true art is and not so much the finished product. She also spoke about how the process can be worshipful. That the things you worship, struggling with, ect will be reflected in the process of your art piece as well as the finished product.
One thing that she talked about that struck me is how important the process is. You can begin a project then finish it quickly, but what is that story that lead you to where you ended up? I am terrible at communicating what I am going through because I am ashamed of the process. I think we all innately want to be perfect or even just appear to be so. The trend for me is that whenever a life changing even happens. I might tell a couple people what happened. Tell absolutely no one about the struggles involved (this is when I appear to drop off the face of the earth). Then when the trial is over, I will tell everyone,"well, it's all better now." leaving them dumbfounded that they had no idea what was going on. Can you imagine the testimony it would be to people about how our God works in mighty ways if people were aware of the "process" it took you to get to the final product?
I have seen God provide in Ridiculous ways! The place that I currently live can only be a God thing. It was literally down to HOURS before I needed to move and I hadn't found a place yet. Then Irene, my roommate, calls about an apartment in Magnolia... which happens to be one of the nicest neighborhoods in the Seattle area. Not only that, but she also is a Christian and I think we mesh incredibly well. That in itself is a miracle but the story of how that miracle came to be is even better.
I was given a week to move out. After posting an ad on Craigslist, I had been given 5 different options before Irene called. 1. Tacoma 2.Federal Way 3. Everette 4. Shoreline (lady got cold feet at the last minute) 5. Redmond. With these options I had absolutely no peace . The problem with all those places was this: I know God wants me in Seattle right now. I made a concious decision that I am going to stay in Seattle. I need to find a place to plant my feet solidly in the ground which means commiting to a good church, building relationships with Godly people, and finding a stable and good job, and stop moving from place to place. With all these things in mind, I prayed and fasted. There where a couple days in a row that I refused to eat anything at all (definitely drank water) because I was determined that God answer this prayer. To make matters worse, I only had access to a computer 30 minutes a day at the library so I literally had to wait for someone to contact me. The night before the move I made the decision to compromise and move to Everette because it seemed like the only legitamately viable option. Though I didn't have much peace about that decision, I made steps to make it happen. That night I still prayed in my heart that God would provide even at the last minute for me to stay in Seattle. In the morning, Irene called me within a few hours I met her and a couple hours more I moved into her apartment....
You see what I'm talking about? THAT is the story that people need to witness! It's like watching a good movie. If you just saw the beginning and the end, it wouldn't be a very good movie at all. You'd miss out on all the emotional ups and downs, and trials that made the character the person they became in the end. So with that said, I am going to try to make more of an effort to tell people my story as it unfolds so just maybe God will be revealed in a greater way.
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