Journey with me finding my purpose in life and walking into my inheritance as a God fearing woman
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Anger is a Zit
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Be Real
The same revelation is still relevant in my life now. For the last year I have allowed my self to drown in my sins without calling out for help. Meanwhile, I was growing farther and farther away from God. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I finally realized that my barriers that I have put up to protect myself are really more harming than protecting me. Basiclly I was cutting off my legs a little bit at a time, and denying the fact that I even needed them to walk... I know... grusome analogy... So finally after my legs are nothing but Nubs I've finally decided to change things. I finally know that I do need help, if I ever plan on having my legs grow back; which I am thankful to say that God is faithful in this. God is never in short supply of extra legs.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hearing God's Voice
Afterwards I talked to a gal from Phoenix,AZ named Krystal who was really sweet, and open to receiving whatever the lord had in store for her. She asked me to help her hear from the lord because she didn't know that it was even possible to do so; I was glad to help. It just so happens that when I first got saved hearing god is what perplexed me the most.
I thought it was complicated at first and felt like God wouldn't talk to me anyway because I saw God through this perspective of my experiences men in my life (not good). I remember after church I approached Ronda Barker and said "I'm worried. I've been trying really hard, but I can't hear God's voice." Ronda smiled at me gently and replied, "You can hear god's voice because 'the sheep know the voice of the Shepard', let's ask God what he thinks of you right now." after she asked God I got a clear picture of this beautiful ballroom dancer in this blue flowy gown, with a spotlight just on her. Ronda saw something similar but it was a rose slowly opening up and just told me "God wants you to know that you are beautiful." I was completely blown away by the fact that I could actually hear his voice and it really wasn't as complicated as I was making it. I was unaware that God talks to me all the time and all I had to do was listen.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Inexpressible and Glorious Joy
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Everything Meaningless
http://www.hulu.com/watch/78792/dead-like-me-vacation#x-0,vepisode,1,0
Everything Meaningless
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Faithfulness (a study of David's life)
God’s Faithfulness is one thing in the bible that is never disputed. David is found declaring this in psalm 57:10 (NIV): “your faithfulness reaches to the sky”, meaning that God’s faithfulness will never end. He declares this faithfulness over and over in each psalm that he writes. What evidence did David’s life have that made him feel so strongly about this fact? While looking at the root of “Faithfulness” you will find the word “Faith.” Faith translated In Greek is πιστι, pronounced “pi’stis” and in Hebrew אֵמוּן, pronounced “'emuwn” (Strong’s Concordance). In the dictionary, Faith is defined: “Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.” Jesus says that “faith as small as a mustard seed will move mountains” (Mt 17:20 NIV). But how can you move mountains when that little mustard seed is a little defective; in other words what happens when your faith is shaky and weak? Is it still possible to move that mountain in the distance? A better question is: how do you grow your mustard seed strong enough to move that mountain?
On the day that Samuel the prophet was sent to
David was a loyal servant in King Saul’s court and Army for many years and he befriended Saul’s son, Jonathan in such a way that they considered each other brothers; “Jonathan became one in spirit with David and loved him as himself” (1sam 18:1). Despite his fervent loyalty, from the first attempt to end David’s life until Saul’s death, David was on the run. Because of the sin in Saul’s life (jealousy, Murder, and witchcraft [consulting a witch to bring Samuel from the dead (1sam 28)]) God chose to harden Saul’s heart, and put an evil spirit on him. Even after King Saul’s death, David struggled to obtain his inheritance; the very thing that God promised over his life was at steak. Somehow through all of this David’s faith never wavered.
James, the Older of Jesus’ younger brothers, is firm in saying “…for he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven by the wind and tossed” (James 1: 6 KJV). This confirms that without faith it is not possible to move mountains, Mountains being figurative language for circumstances that you face. There is no real formula for fully having faith in God. I think that the reason why David had such a strong faith was because God is faithful. While David was on the run from Saul, God provided him with shelter, food, and God paved a way for David to receive his inheritance. In Order for him to receive this inheritance it required a few things.
The first thing that needed to happen is he needed to see that God would provide in even the most difficult situations. In many psalms David is seen hopeless and desperate to see God come through and in exactly 2 psalms back to back, David is seen to even lament the day of the his birth. David needed to see that God is really the one who needs to rule over
In each psalm David is found declaring the faithfulness of God. Could this have been because he needed to reassure himself that God is in control? I find this true in my own life I always have to reassure my self on a daily basis that there is a reason for everything I go through and that all will turn out for my good because I love God. Paul says in Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...” The brain is a spectacular creation. Psychologists agree that the more someone repeats words the easier they are going to remember. Perhaps the more that I repeat to myself that God is faithful; I’ll start to have a strong belief that this is true.
I noticed that in David’s life, he always said “yes” to God even though he knew that this would be costly. Because of David’s yes’s he was given the chance to grow his faith even more. Jesus says “who ever finds his life will lose it, but who ever loses his life for my sake will find it,” This says a lot about sacrificing your desires getting a reward for it. Maybe that reward is gaining your inheritance?
Rememberance
- Bringing 24 people to my tiny house for my 18th birthday party after my 17th birthday party broke my heart
- Getting a florist Job last minute so that I was able to pay for my first month of rent in the Pillar House
- Providing the Pillar House for me to move out of home for the first time.
- Providing another Job a month later so that I was able to stay in the Pillar until the end of July
- Providing a last minute (4 days before I had to move out of the Pillar) place to live with Kelly Fitzgerald
- Providing an in home Nanny position for a month so that I could move out of Kelly's
- Providing a place to live rent free while I looked for work at Ashley Wright's house
- Providing me with resources to Get a copy of my social security card, a birth certificate, and an ID
- Providing a Housekeeping job
- Keeping me alive when I got hit by a motorcycle
- Providing me with a GED for free
- Providing me with all the necessary paperwork and reference letters, Getting me into Northwest University (NU) within 2 weeks of the first day of classes
- Getting Financial Aid taken Care of, getting Registered for classes, Getting moved into the dorms all done on the first day of classes
- providing the money to take the ACT (got a 21 :))
- Providing me The money (via my aunt and Uncle) to return to NU for my Spring Semester
- Providing a place to live when school got out (mom's)
- Providing a place to go when I needed to move out of mom's (the Schwanger's) for a month while I looked for a job and another place to live
- Providing a job in the Tacoma Mall a week before I needed to move out of the Schwanger's
- Providing a place to stay(Erin O'hagan's) when I needed to move out of the Schwanger's the day of
- Providing me with a means to finally start walking into my calling; getting to lead worship at "the ROC" :)




