Everything Meaningless

So here comes my 4^th time moving since May. I can’t help but feel a little apprehensive. One thing I am not good at is goodbyes. With goodbye always comes a mixture of loneliness, pain and tears. I tend to feel like I’m alone in all of this.  The thing that always gets me by, is even when everything fades away in my life, God is always there. It doesn’t make it any easier though, because even though I know for a fact God is always there, I feel like I’m doomed to live this life all by myself. I’m scared to be alone.

 The thing that scares me even more than being alone is the thoughts and the demons I face when this happens. I am open and exposed when I am alone, I guess this is why I always tend to turn to things like entertainment when I am alone. When I get to thinking too much I start thinking about my future and what the point of it all is. King Solomon said it best when he said “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; All of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Eccl 1:14).  King Solomon one of the wisest men in the bible had everything “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure,” (Eccl 2:10) yet he still found that it was meaningless. If everything is meaningless, then what is the point of life? After so many years of being prosperous because of his love for the lord, Job had all of his livestock, servants, and his children taken from him. Job is found stating, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart…"(Job 1:21). I feel like there’s a lesson in this… I think Jesus gave a good answer for this

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

                              ~(Matt 6:19-21)

            I think in this passage Jesus is basically telling us it is meaningless to try and spend our days toiling over things that are only temporary. Storing up treasures in heaven in metaphorical for making the best of this life regardless of what it hands you, being selfless, and putting your trust in something that isn’t so temporary.  This subject reminds me of a scene in one of my favorite shows “Dead like me,” The main character George, is turned into a grim reaper after her tragic death (killed by a falling toilet seat from the space shuttle; hence getting the nickname “toilet seat girl”).  George is talking to Daisy, a transfer, in this scene when Daisy has this amazing epiphany at George’s day job at a temp agency, after talking about how life is temporary, and so is being a reaper, “oh my gosh, we’re all just temps.” So I guess instead of feeling defeated in my loneliness to look forward to the fact that this life is temporary and I do have a lot to look forward to in heaven. And since I am a temp, I need to make the most of the life that I have now, regardless of the suckiness of it all.