Fear: The False Gospel

^"I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel —which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse! ." ~ Galatians 1:6-9 (NIV)

"Gnostic- Of, relating to, or possessing intellectual or spiritual knowledge." (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Gnostic)

Before I get to my point, here's a little history lesson:

Gnosticism started as a philosophy by an early "Christian" philosopher by the name of Marcion of Sinope, who claimed to be a student of Justin Martyr. However, Iraneaus, who was one Justin's closest disciples, denies his credibility (in an apologetic letter, no less...), given the fact that the only times he was around Justin, he was argumentative and more often than not taking Justin's words out of context. (early christian thinkers- Paul Foster) Marcion created the heretical philosophy of Gnosticism, named such because he believed that he was enlightened to the ultimate truth of God. 

Gnostics continue to believe that the flesh is so evil that even Christ's death wasn't sufficient. While they believe that Jesus was the son of God (among other things), they basically believe that Jesus was a wise leader that died as an example and not of saving grace. They take the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:20 quite literally, "And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." (I met a guy a couple years ago who actually gouged his eye out...)They believe that your soul is trapped in this evil body. In order to connect to God, you must punish the flesh in meditation to get in tune with your soul so that you might become enlightened of the spiritual realm and have certain powers (such as the miracles that Jesus was able to perform). They have a lot other interesting (heretical) theological beliefs, but to stay on topic we'll just focus on the flesh VS. spirit.

Gnostics are always on the front lines during a disaster claiming that God is punishing us for our evil flesh and its desires. During the Black Plague (14th century), they would parade through towns flogging themselves crying out to God to forgive the flesh and to release humanity of the grotesque epidemic. (history channel...http://www.history.com/topics/black-death yes, I'm a nerd) Nowadays, More often than not, they are the ones on the street corners holding signs saying "the end is near," picketing funerals (a good example is westbro "baptist"), and harassing disaster victims. 

I would not only like to submit that this theology is rooted in fear but that Fear itself is the false Gospel that even I have bought into. 


The Gospel of fear is not dissimilar to Gnosticism. How many times have I thought to myself, "I'm too wretched to be forgiven"? Then out of fear I begin to try to buy grace with works. I mutilate myself, maybe not in a way that is visible, but leaves scars nonetheless. The worst part is when I buy into this "gospel" I am refusing the gift of grace and saying it is not good enough.


My biggest struggle right now is with pornography and masturbation. It all started when I was accidentally exposed to it as a little girl.  I don't think my mom was even aware of how big of an issue this has been for me. I have always seen this as one of the ultimate sins a person can ever commit. Rather than face the issue and get the help I needed, I would commit the act then suffer in silent because I felt so dirty. For 2 years after I became a christian I was "free" from this struggle, I think this was because the first couple years of my Christianity was the climax of my faith or rather my hypocrisy. 


While I was not practicing porn or masturbation at the time, thoughts still remained. I would argue now, that I had yet to understand the grace God had granted me for who I once was.  At that time I went so far as to look down on other people struggling with something that I had "freedom" in. I even believed that I was better than them because I didn't need God to stop, I did it on my own and they were weak because they were still struggling. I could only hold this facade for so long before I realized that I wasn't loving people well. That I am a hypocrite. 


For the last few years, I have suffered alone ultimately believing that I deserved what ever I had coming to me; Even God's grace wasn't enough for me. I told 2 people about my struggle before a couple months ago, without any follow through to have victory. After each confession, I claimed to have victory over this issue; I still believed that I could go it alone. In time I started to justify this action. That,"God wants me to feel good," or "I might not be able to control what's going on around me, but I can definitely control this feeling." This was all definitely rooted in the fear that God was not going to fulfill his promises.


I am astonished that it takes so much for me to learn how much bigger God is than all my petty issues. That we are not meant to be alone. We are broken reflections of God whom lives in eternity in community (the trinity). Even Paul, whom I consider one of the wisest men of the bible, surrounded himself in community to be sure he was walking the straight and narrow. He talks about this in Galatians, that even Barnabas fell because he wasn't living in community. 


So what is my solution to this problem I am struggling with? Living in community. I came to the decision that I am tired of trying to do it alone. I started by confessing to my community group leader a couple months ago  about what I am struggling with, and now I am actually walking with a girl who has struggled with the same issue. I have found that with time this issue has become easier to talk about. While I am definitely not completely victorious yet, I am starting to understand this concept of leaning entirely on God. I am so thankful to have people in my life who are pointing me to the real gospel, which is Jesus's death and resurrection covers even me, the most wretched of the wretched.