Love is:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. 

Love never fails. 

Have you ever been hurt so badly by someone that you found it difficult to move past the hurt and forgive? What if they hurt you in a way that made you question every other relationship that you had in your life? I think life becomes a little more confusing. These are the questions I’ve been plagued with for the last couple weeks.  What is the difference between a real friendship and a project friendship? Are friendships REALLY supposed to be easy or are they never meant to last? Am I really such a burden that I’m not a joy to be around just for the sake of being around? Am I being a loving friend or a selfish friend? What is wrong with me?

A couple weeks ago I had a fight with someone that I considered my best friend. I’ve come to realize that she really only saw me as a ministry opportunity all these years, that I am physically, emotionally, and mentally draining, so she really doesn’t take joy in being around me unless we’re doing something “productive.” While I did see some great points she made about some things I need to work on, this has left me questioning every aspect of every relationship in my life right now. Not only this, but I am very hurt to think that I invested my emotions in an illusionary friendship that lasted nearly eight years. If our friendship wasn’t real, then what is REAL?

I've always had the idea that all friendships, regardless of the dynamic, should be the reflection of how we should love God and the church.  I find it difficult how anyone can have a healthy friendship otherwise. When we love our church, we give. We don’t care what we get in return; we just give. We give our time, talent, and treasure. While it’s nice when your church gives back or shows that they appreciate what you give, you don’t necessarily care either way because you love it. People in the body may hurt you or may not necessarily share in your affection, but you continue to love it because God loves his church. Ideally, this is what a friendship is supposed to look like.

So, I guess in retrospect our friendship is real. I will just need to continue to love her like I love the church. Hopefully, one day she will share in my affection for her regardless of the ways she has hurt me in the past. I will also do my best to move past the hurt and my own selfish desires for her to feel the same as I do.