So it has just been one of those days. I have just lost yet another job. As I was on the bus home I was contemplating what to say in this blog entry. A flood of angry thoughts filled my head along with a surge of urgency and despair. As soon as I set eyes on the blank blog template however, I was suddenly at a loss for words. As I stared blankly at the computer screen I reflected on what an amazing 3 weeks I've had and really what an amazing few months I've had.
Recently, my question for everything is: "Why?" and "What am I supposed to be learning?"; I think I just found out.
Potential: "a capacity to develop, succeed, or become something."
I've lost count of how many times I've heard the phrase, "You've got so much potential." usually this phrase is followed by the word, "But..." All this time I have been naive enough to take this as a compliment. When all this time, I should have been seeing it as a challenge to be better than I am. Instead, I've been living my life apathetically day to day hoping and even praying for something to change. I can hardly believe that it takes me getting a sales like position to finally open my eyes to the fact that I need to take action to realize the potential that I have.
All this time I've been feeling sorry for myself and begging for help from other people and even God when all this time God has been telling me, "Rosie, You know exactly what I have called you to do. You know the gifts I have given you, NOW GO~!" I can't be afraid any more of the word "no". This week, the campaign manager was in town to critique us, and give us tips on how to be better "Dialogers." One thing he said that I found striking, "Rosie, you have already heard 'NO' more times than most people will hear in a life time. You have no reason to fear it, now go out there and get them, girl!" He was right in more than just one scenario. I have had so much crap happen to me my whole life, I grew up without a stable dad in the home, Lived with a single mom my whole life with extreme depression, I was almost killed by my step father, lived through several heart breaks, I have survived a house fire, I experienced homelessness not once but three times, have had several really crappy roommates, I've survived getting hit by a motorcycle, have been in and out of jobs, and yet, I am still living to tell the tale.
I am through, feeling sorry for myself and I am through with fear of "No". I am going to pursue my calling/ dreams. From now on I am going to take the bull by the horns and achieve the Amazing.
If you were wondering what the amazing thing that I am setting my mind towards. It is becoming that Worship Leader/ Missionary that I want to be. Tomorrow, I will walk out my door a brand new person. I will achieve the impossible. I'm going to get a new job, then I am going to work on getting scholarships and get back to Northwest University and finish my degree in Music Ministry. I expect to be back at Northwest University by next fall. I am not going to let petty things like a "NO" or money stand in my way.
I AM EPIC!!!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Oh Drat.
So it's been a challenging week. I started a new job last Tuesday that I never really thought I could do because it's definitely canvassing and least of all actually enjoy doing. I love being outside all day in Seattle, talking to random people, the freedom to be goofy, and supporting a great cause. The problem I am facing is becoming frustrated and discouraged too easily.
People can be extremely jaded, rude, cynical, and selfish. When I'm seen on the street corner they think I'm homeless looking for a handout, I'm selling something, or handing out a petition. The lengths people go to avoiding me are RIDICULOUS! I've watched as people just having a good day, kinda moseying along see me standing on the corner holding my binder and sporting my charity gear, they walk as fast as they can around me. I would probably sustain multiple injuries from people would running into my outstretched hand because they so fervently avoid eye contact if it weren't for me quickly withdrawing it. A group of people that look really kind go to shake my hand and then suddenly that one person in the front of the line, "DON'T YOU DARE SHAKE HER HAND!!" Yesterday, I approached a girl for a handshake and she wanted to avoid it so badly that she walked into the wall... Seriously? They don't realize the need for the job that I do. For every form I fill out, a kid is attached to it; usually a fairly young one at that. I ramble out statistics regarding children in our world and why there is such a need for sponsors to take care of these little ones, but it goes unheard. All people hear is, "I want $25 out of your account every month." What I wish they would think is, "What can I do to help a kid who can't help them self get what they need?"
I hate money. I wish I didn't need it to survive, in fact I'm absolutely sure that I COULD go without it because I've gone without for so long. The only problem with not having money is people get tired of helping you out after a while. It's what ever, right? One argument that I hear every day is, "I don't agree with Children International because we need to worry about the kids in our country first." First of all... A kid in need is a kid in need... It doesn't matter where the kid is from. Yes... That is a legitimate concern... but if you are SO concerned about kids in this country, why the HELL aren't you doing anything about it? 25 frikin MILLION kids living below the poverty line in the united states?? Totally unacceptable to me. You look at me like I'm garbage and act self righteous when at least I am doing something. What do you do? You shop at Nordstrom, Macy's, The Gap, The Limited, and other posh stores, yet you can't afford $25 to help a kid that needs it? You'd rather not see outside yourself outside of 2 minutes of your "BUSY DAY" of shopping to fill out a form that could potentially be saving a life. And if you listen for a second to what I have to say, you would find out that kids in the USA are in need of Sponsors too! Agh. And really, it's not the $25 people are concerned about... It's the convenience of spending 2 minutes not doing something for "self."
So, anyway... Frustrated and discouraged because I've only had 3 sign ups. It should not be this hard to find people to help a kid out. Seriously... If you ever have considered sponsoring a kid, DO IT! Don't dance around the subject, just do it.
People can be extremely jaded, rude, cynical, and selfish. When I'm seen on the street corner they think I'm homeless looking for a handout, I'm selling something, or handing out a petition. The lengths people go to avoiding me are RIDICULOUS! I've watched as people just having a good day, kinda moseying along see me standing on the corner holding my binder and sporting my charity gear, they walk as fast as they can around me. I would probably sustain multiple injuries from people would running into my outstretched hand because they so fervently avoid eye contact if it weren't for me quickly withdrawing it. A group of people that look really kind go to shake my hand and then suddenly that one person in the front of the line, "DON'T YOU DARE SHAKE HER HAND!!" Yesterday, I approached a girl for a handshake and she wanted to avoid it so badly that she walked into the wall... Seriously? They don't realize the need for the job that I do. For every form I fill out, a kid is attached to it; usually a fairly young one at that. I ramble out statistics regarding children in our world and why there is such a need for sponsors to take care of these little ones, but it goes unheard. All people hear is, "I want $25 out of your account every month." What I wish they would think is, "What can I do to help a kid who can't help them self get what they need?"
I hate money. I wish I didn't need it to survive, in fact I'm absolutely sure that I COULD go without it because I've gone without for so long. The only problem with not having money is people get tired of helping you out after a while. It's what ever, right? One argument that I hear every day is, "I don't agree with Children International because we need to worry about the kids in our country first." First of all... A kid in need is a kid in need... It doesn't matter where the kid is from. Yes... That is a legitimate concern... but if you are SO concerned about kids in this country, why the HELL aren't you doing anything about it? 25 frikin MILLION kids living below the poverty line in the united states?? Totally unacceptable to me. You look at me like I'm garbage and act self righteous when at least I am doing something. What do you do? You shop at Nordstrom, Macy's, The Gap, The Limited, and other posh stores, yet you can't afford $25 to help a kid that needs it? You'd rather not see outside yourself outside of 2 minutes of your "BUSY DAY" of shopping to fill out a form that could potentially be saving a life. And if you listen for a second to what I have to say, you would find out that kids in the USA are in need of Sponsors too! Agh. And really, it's not the $25 people are concerned about... It's the convenience of spending 2 minutes not doing something for "self."
So, anyway... Frustrated and discouraged because I've only had 3 sign ups. It should not be this hard to find people to help a kid out. Seriously... If you ever have considered sponsoring a kid, DO IT! Don't dance around the subject, just do it.
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