Potential

So it has just been one of those days. I have just lost yet another job. As I was on the bus home I was contemplating what to say in this blog entry. A flood of angry thoughts filled my head along with a surge of urgency and despair. As soon as I set eyes on the blank blog template however, I was suddenly at a loss for words.  As I stared blankly at the computer screen I reflected on what an amazing 3 weeks I've had and really what an amazing few months I've had.

Recently, my question for everything is: "Why?" and "What am I supposed to be learning?"; I think I just found out.

Potential: "a capacity to develop, succeed, or become something."
I've lost count of how many times I've heard the phrase, "You've got so much potential." usually this phrase is followed by the word, "But..." All this time I have been naive enough to take this as a compliment. When all this time, I should have been seeing it as a challenge to be better than I am. Instead, I've been living my life apathetically day to day hoping and even praying for something to change. I can hardly believe that it takes me getting a sales like position to finally open my eyes to the fact that I need to take action to realize the potential that I have.

All this time I've been feeling sorry for myself and begging for help from other people and even God when all this time God has been telling me, "Rosie, You know exactly what I have called you to do. You know the gifts I have given you, NOW GO~!" I can't be afraid any more of the word "no". This week, the campaign manager was in town to critique us, and give us tips on how to be better "Dialogers." One thing he said that I found striking, "Rosie, you have already heard 'NO' more times than most people will hear in a life time. You have no reason to fear it, now go out there and get them, girl!" He was right in more than just one scenario. I have had so much crap happen to me my whole life, I grew up without a stable dad in the home, Lived with a single mom my whole life with extreme depression,  I was almost killed by my step father, lived through several heart breaks, I have survived a house fire, I experienced homelessness not once but three times, have had several really crappy roommates,  I've survived getting hit by a motorcycle, have been in and out of jobs, and yet, I am still living to tell the tale.

I am through, feeling sorry for myself and I am through with fear of "No". I am going to pursue my calling/ dreams. From now on I am going to take the bull by the horns and achieve the Amazing.

If you were wondering what the amazing thing that I am setting my mind towards. It is becoming that Worship Leader/ Missionary that I want to be. Tomorrow, I will walk out my door a brand new person. I will achieve the impossible. I'm going to get a new job, then I am going to work on getting scholarships and get back to Northwest University and finish my degree in Music Ministry. I expect to be back at Northwest University by next fall. I am not going to let petty things like a  "NO" or  money stand in my way.

I AM EPIC!!!