Ode to Mommy

I know this is a little late seeing as Mother's day was Sunday. A friend of mine posted a comment on Facebook about her mom being a bad parent, blaming her for how everything turned out; this bothered me. While I operated under this paradigm for a long time, as I get older, I realize that I'm responsible for my own actions and what I do with the situations that are placed in front of me. I honestly don't think there is such a thing as a bad parent (aside from those who abandon and abuse).

It is my experience that parents do the best with the circumstances they are given. Whether it's a teen mom, single mom, divorced mom, or a married mom they all have the desire to do what is best for their children. Mother's will risk their own lives for the sake of protecting their children. When her children are in need she will do all she can to make sure that need is met (in some cases this might mean giving them up for adoption).

I love my mom but life as a kid was hard. For a long time I did not respect my mom at all. I couldn't see how she would let a man continue beating her for years and not just leave the douche bag. I would watch helplessly as she went into mental breakdowns and angry outbursts. I thought she was weak; I was wrong.

What I perceived as weakness was really strength. While I didn't know or recognize it at the time, my mom held onto hope for the things that seemed hopeless. Where anyone else might have given up, she held on. This is the greatest lesson that I think my mom has ever taught me.

All my life, my mom would tell me to not be like her, and I went so far as telling myself that there was NO WAY that I was going to be like my mom. While I agree that there are some things not worth repeating and yes, you should strive for better... I argue now, why not be like my mom? I have come to realize how beautiful my mom's heart truly is.

While her circumstances say otherwise she hopes and trusts that things will work out for the better. Even when she is in a manically depressed state she finds a reason to keep pushing forward. She loves even those who may not even deserve it without holding back. While she has every reason to never trust again, she puts her heart on the line in hopes that it'll be worth it in the end.

I want to be like that.