There have been many times that I have challenged other people to be real with other people. I guess I'm a hypocrit, because I haven't been following through on my own challenge. It's hard to even be real to myself sometimes or even to God. I deny that the things I am going through are hard and I tell God, "it's alright, I got it under control down here! No help needed!" When in fact that is completely opposite from the truth. I am just like any other person and it's okay to need help.
I went on a camping trip to Lake cushman August 2007 with some friends from City Central. It was all fun and games until someone got hurt... that someone being me. We were all playing in the lake on floating logs, catapolting each other off them, after gettting bored of our spot we moved to another, little did we know that the water was too shallow. I was the first to try... something went wrong and I ended up with a twisted ankle... It hurt so badly I thought it was broken; luckily it wasn't. after clumsily getting my clothes on we all decided to head back to camp. Painfully I tried to hobble back to Chris Roberts' truck, Chris and Vince offered to help me by letting me lean on them... I was stubborn "no, it's okay... I can do it..." that's when Chris said something I will never forget that may have changed my life, "You know, it's okay to ask for help!" that's when I gave in. It had never occured to me till then that I'm not a bad person for needing help.
The same revelation is still relevant in my life now. For the last year I have allowed my self to drown in my sins without calling out for help. Meanwhile, I was growing farther and farther away from God. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I finally realized that my barriers that I have put up to protect myself are really more harming than protecting me. Basiclly I was cutting off my legs a little bit at a time, and denying the fact that I even needed them to walk... I know... grusome analogy... So finally after my legs are nothing but Nubs I've finally decided to change things. I finally know that I do need help, if I ever plan on having my legs grow back; which I am thankful to say that God is faithful in this. God is never in short supply of extra legs.
The same revelation is still relevant in my life now. For the last year I have allowed my self to drown in my sins without calling out for help. Meanwhile, I was growing farther and farther away from God. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I finally realized that my barriers that I have put up to protect myself are really more harming than protecting me. Basiclly I was cutting off my legs a little bit at a time, and denying the fact that I even needed them to walk... I know... grusome analogy... So finally after my legs are nothing but Nubs I've finally decided to change things. I finally know that I do need help, if I ever plan on having my legs grow back; which I am thankful to say that God is faithful in this. God is never in short supply of extra legs.
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